


Red Eyes That Haunt

by LookitThatDude



Category: Homestuck, MSPaintAdventures
Genre: Death, Ghosts, M/M, Sadstuck, Spirits, Suicide, solnep cameo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-10 14:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2028660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LookitThatDude/pseuds/LookitThatDude
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat hasn't been feeling well lately. A pair of red eyes haunting his dreams.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You want to scream. You’re in the dark and you’re alone and nobody can hear you.

You want to wake up from this never ending nightmare.

From the torture.

The pain.

The suffering.

Everything.

You want to wake up and be back with your friends, the sun shining, no problems. Not a care in the world. You want to live a happy life and you can’t.

You want to cry.

You want to cry out loud and scream and hopefully one who knows your name will come and save you.

You want to scream.

And then you see them...Those...Bright, red eyes, coming in from the darkness. The void that surrounded you. Those crimson, no, fiery red eyes. They stare at you. You stare at them. Those blood red eyes. Those horrible, horrible flaming red, boiling blood, crimson eyes. You don’t know who they belong to. But they’re in every room with you. In every corner, you’re surrounded by them.

You want them to go away.

A sharp pain runs down your spine as they continue to look at you, and as you look back at them. Straight at them. That terrifying pair of eyes where there was only one set...But thousands.

The pain is unbearable.

\--

You wake up in a cold sweat, not knowing what the fuck just happened to you.

Another bad dream, you guess.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and lately you’ve been having...Strange dreams. Ones only consisting of a pair of eyes in a void. Red eyes. Deep. Scary. Red eyes.

You try to forget about it, and hop in the shower to get all the sweaty yuckiness off your body before you go to school and meet up with friends.

Something in your gut tells you you’re not going to school, however.

No really, you have a horrible stomach ache and can just barely stand in the scalding hot water pouring onto your body as you double over in pain.

You ask your dad if you can stay home after you finish your shower. And he lets you. Thank god. You felt like you were going to barf.

You climb into your bed and get under your sheets and for some reason a freezing cold chill went up your spine. And it stayed there. For twenty minutes. It felt like an hour. But it was only twenty minutes.

The cold then shifted, and had a form rather than simple coldness. And it wasn’t any ordinary coldness, you are freezing, feeling like you’re going to get frostbite, and yet you were perfectly fine. It felt like someone made of ice was holding onto you. You sigh and let it be. The cold at least made you forget about his stomach ache...In fact you stomach ache was completely gone! That was strange. You’re still gonna stay home, you don’t want to deal with your assholes of friends at school.

The cold doesn’t move, but you can now feel pressure where it’s touching you.

This is all very very strange, and to be quite honest it’s starting to scare you. You try to sit up but whatever this thing is pushes you right back down and lets go of you. Your stomach ache came back and wherever that force touched now felt like burning embers on your skin. Like you were about to physically melt. The pain was unbearable. You curl up into a ball to try to stop the stomach pains, and it kind of helps, but then it starts hurting more and you lay flat. That kind of helps. But the cycle continued and you just kept moving around.

You don’t know why, but every time you try to sit up to go do thing, cold hits your forehead, and when it’s gone it’s scorching heat.

This continued until you decided maybe getting up wasn’t a good idea. Until you had to pee, that is. You sigh, and basically talk to nothingness in the room, hoping whatever the fuck this thing was had an ability to hear. “Don’t push me down this time I’m going to the bathroom.”

You’re hesitant about it at first, but you sit up, and aren’t pushed down again. Wow, that worked. You get up and got the the bathroom, your stomach ache so bad still that you go back to bed and lay down once you’re done.

“Can whatever the hell keeps touching me please stop?” you say, “And maybe tell me /why/ you’re touching me?” you look up at your ceiling and hope for some answer to appear there. It doesn’t. But your dad walks in.

“Karkat, who are you talking to?” he asks, very confused.

“Nobody, sorry.” you hide under the covers of your blanket, and your father leaves the room. When he closes the door your blanket is basically ripped off of you and you see a paper taped to the ceiling. Something’s written on it in very poor handwriting. It’s hard to make out.

“You’re sick, you need to rest.” it reads, at least that’s what you think it reads. There’s something in smaller print that you can’t quite make out.

“Alright...Doesn’t explain the weir...cuddling, at least I think it was cuddling but okay. What the fuck are you?” you continue to talk to the air while the paper flips around and something different is written on it.

“I can’t tell you that...Yet.” what a fucking asshole this guy is.

You sigh, “Whatever.” You turn onto your side and cover yourself with your blanket. You can feel the cold presence right behind you, as you’re facing the wall with your back out to the rest of the room.

That thing is so annoying and you can barely sleep because of it. Maybe you could ask it to stop keeping so close to you? Or it could knock you out, either could work. You decide against both actions as you don’t really want to communicate with it right now.

The day drags on and it’s only letting you get up to go to the bathroom, get water, or eat food your dad made for you.

It was really annoying in all honesty.

But you dealt with it. Hopefully your stomach ache would pass by tomorrow and you could go back to school with your assholish friends and be done with whatever the fuck was keeping you cooped up in your room.

“Can I at least get up and go to my computer? My friends should be online by now. School’s out.”

You feel like it flicked you, and you let out an angry sigh. “Not even one message...Can I get my phone?” you ask, and then try to get up, it lets you, and you grab your phone before going back to bed. You message John first.

\--carcinoGeneticist started pestering ectoBiologist at 4:34pm--

CG: HEY ASSHOLE ARE YOU HOME YET?

EB: yeah i’m home.

EB: why weren’t you at school today?

CG: STOMACH ACHE.

CG: OKAY I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.

EB: ask away oh magical karkat.

CG: I THINK THERE’S A GHOST IN MY HOUSE.

CG: I THINK.

CG: I’M NOT SURE.

EB: i think you’re going a little crazy with sick.

EB: ghosts don’t exist.

EB: get some rest okay?

\--ectoBiologist ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist at 4:42pm--

What an asshole, you think. He’s just like this ghost thing in your house. At least you think it’s a ghost. You still have no idea. Part of you doesn’t want to know anyway so you don’t ask.

You attempt to watch youtube on your phone but it’s knocked out of your hand by the force. You guess it wants you to go back to sleep. Fine. You’ll sleep.

It’ll just take a little while seeing as it’s clinging onto you like before, causing the freezing cold feeling that isn’t actually there. Whatever. You sleep.

The red eyes aren’t back for a long while tonight, you suppose it’s because you’re sick, and your brain is busy working on other things rather than scaring the shit out of you and giving you these horrible painful dreams.

But then they’re there, and they have a form.

Red eyes, pale skin, freckles strewn about the face, darker than the platinum blonde hair. It scared you. It scared you to death.

They walk towards you, and you can’t move, you can’t move any one part of your body. You’re face to face with this person with the red eyes and you can’t do anything. You’re in a void with nowhere to run. And you‘re trapped.

It gets cold. Really really cold. Too cold to bear but you can’t move. Then it touches you. You’re freezing and it’s touching your arm and it’s colder where they’re touching you and you want to scream because its so cold that it’s hot.

It starts holding you, making more contact with you. It seems like they’re trying to hug you. But it hurts, and then it talks.

“Karkat I’m sorry. I know it hurts and I’m sorry will you please forgive me?”

The voice sounded familiar, you couldn’t place who it belonged to though. That was upsetting.

You wake up the minute they let go of you, in another cold sweat.

The clock says it’s 3am.

**You can’t get back to sleep.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm adding tags as I go here, please take notice that in this chapter I'm writing how Dave died so there is suicide and death in here please tread cautiously I don't want anyone getting hurt

Next morning and your stomach ache is still active. Bummer. You get up and go take a shower, not even bothering to wait for it to warm up before jumping right into the water. Though maybe that was a bad idea because it was cold as fuck. Though you deal with it anyway. Soon the water is nearly boiling hot, and you like it like that.

You walk out only to be greeted by sudden cold engulfing your body, and it only goes away once you’re dressed and back in bed. Though it hugs you for a second before you feel the burning again.

You make sure to give a reason for getting up before getting up because apparently you can’t get up to go on the computer and sit there in your boxers and a blanket without being shooed back to bed five minutes later.

You bring your phone to bed and let your laptop charge in the corner while you talk to your friend Aradia through your phone. She was home because she apparently needed to take a ‘spiritual break’ from school.

 

\--carcinoGeneticist started pestering apocalypseArisen at 9:03am--

CG: HEY ARADIA ARE YOU THERE?

AA: why yes i am

AA: are y0u still having pr0blems with y0ur st0mach

AA: and that gh0st j0hn talked about

CG: YES MY STOMACH IS STILL FUCKED UP.

CG: YES THE GHOST IS STILL HERE.

CG: I WAS HOPING IF YOU COULD COME OVER THIS WEEKEND AND HELP WITH THE GHOST

AA: it w0uld be my pleasure

AA: i have t0 g0 n0w

AA: s0llux needs my help with something

\--apocalypseArisen ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist at 9:10am--

 

Aradia’s pretty fucking creepy in your opinion. Ever since this one accident she had with her boyfriend Sollux, she’s though she was a spirit, roaming the Earth because she couldn’t pass to the other side correctly.

But she was good to go to about ghosts and such because she actually believed in them and knew what she was doing when it came to talking to them and seeing the signs that they’re even there in the first place.

Now that you have Aradia contacted you can get some rest, hopefully without that ghost interfering with your life. For once in your life you take a nap and have a normal dream. You don’t know when the strange ones started, they just did, but right now everything’s normal...mostly.

You dream about the day your best friend and lover died. Both the same person, obviously.

He bled out before the pills had made any affect on his body. It hurts just thinking about it.

He called you prior to his death, you don’t think you’ve ever heard him crying so hard...Or at all. Striders were usually strong. You guess the problem was that he couldn’t show weakness around his family.

You had rushed to his house, pounding on the door until someone answered, tears in your eyes as you made your way through the apartment banging on the door, screaming for him to let you in. Bro helped you get the door unlocked, but you were too late.

You stood in fear and shock, his platinum blonde hair wet within the red water of the bathtub. You wish you had gotten there sooner. You wish you had known about the problem.

You wish that he had talked to you.

You wish you could have fixed this.

Prevented it.

Held him.

You still remember his very last words on the phone before he hung up.

“I’m sorry”

And so now it’s been four years since then. He went at thirteen. He was just entering his teenaged years.

You wake up crying.

You never did get to see his eyes, or know what colour they were.

Maybe they were brown, Yeah, that seems like a colour that would fit him. His brother had orange eyes, and that’s fairly close to brown, just darken it. Yeah, they were brown, totally.

You lay in bed trying to forget about it, and then the form is there. You try to remember the dream you had last night. You could have sworn you saw him now, but he didn’t have red eyes. Someone so sweet and caring couldn’t have such scary horrible eyes...Could they?

You just don’t understand why he would do such a thing like that. He seemed strong enough.

Well that was the problem.

He was hiding behind a mask.

You kind of don’t want to find out if those red eyes are his, they’re scary and you don’t want to look at them. It’s just your imagination playing with you. That’s it.

You rest to take another nap when your phone vibrates, it’s John.

\--ectoBiologist started pestering carcinoGeneticist at 4:10pm--

EB: hey i’m just out of school.

EB: feeling any better?

CG: I STILL FEEL LIKE ABSOLUTE SHIT.

CG: LIKE SATAN DECIDED TO STAB MY STOMACH A THOUSAND TIMES WITH HIS STUPID PITCHFORK.

CG: THAT’S HOW I’M FEELING RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

EB: geez man, it’s that bad?

EB: well i just came to check on you.

EB: hope you get better soon!

\--ectoBiologist ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist at 4:15pm--

 

You can’t get one conversation in without them leaving to go do something that doesn’t involve you, or simply being an asshole. You just want to talk to someone. At least Aradia’s coming over this weekend to help with your little ghost problem.

You can’t get over your dream, why did you dream about that now? When you have so many other things going on? It was just troublesome.

You start to cry again.

You miss him so much.

Your dad brings in food and some ginger ale for your stomach. However you were too busy thinking to even realize that your stomach ache is gone, or that the coldness was holding onto you. At least it lets you sit up to eat, because you don’t really wanna get out of bed. Too lazy for that shit.

Your dad isn’t very good at figuring out what’s good or bad on an upset stomach seeing as he gives you a grilled cheese sandwich and it’s prominent that he accidentally used too much butter. But it’s okay because your stomach ache is gone.

You delve into the sandwich and eat it happily seeing as you can actually eat it without feeling a need to barf.

You finish and set everything aside before you hear a horrible screaming sound. It’s low and metallic and it sounds from everywhere, you have no idea where in the fuck it’s coming from though, which could rise a problem. You try to ignore it.

It only gets louder and covering your ears seems to do nothing to help. You also assume that your brother and dad can’t hear it because they don’t seem to be doing anything about it.

And it stops.

And the cold is gone.

And you’re left alone with nothing to do.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I'm just going to post chapters whenever I feel like it (AKA the minute I finish them) so yeah


	3. Chapter 3

It’s Thursday. Woo. You wish it were friday, but oh well, you’ll deal. Your stomach ache is gone and now you have get ready to go to school.

You shower, you brush your teeth, you get dressed.

Everything’s fairly normal, and you hope it stays that way honestly.

You grab your backpack and your dad hands you your lunch for the day, and you wait outside for the bus.You’re out there a little earlier than usual but you don’t really care much about that. Gives you more time to think about what happened the past two days.

You know there was that cold that kept following you around and pushing you down. And you know that whenever it actually touched you, it was horribly cold, and when it let go, it was horribly hot. Luckily Aradia agreed to come over this weekend to help you with your little problem.

Eventually the bus gets there and you sit next to your friend Sollux, who was nice enough not to leave annoying messages while you were out sick. He has a horrible lisp and strange different coloured eyes. One’s green and one’s blue, and sure he was born like that, but you can’t help but think about it every time he looks you in the eye. Okay that’s an exaggeration but you get it.

He’s also got this strange obsession with red and blue, and they didn’t have frames in both colours for his glasses so he got them in blue and painted the right frame red. Or, he got it painted, he got an artist friend to paint it because they had steadier hands than he did.

Most of the reason why Sollux’s hands weren’t steady was because of all the caffeine he would drink every single night. He really likes coding, but sometimes it got out of control and he would be up late at night, his fingers flying over keys at a million miles per second. You’ve seen it yourself, it’s crazy.

In fact he’s pulled out his laptop on the bus and was working. Now this is actually quite rare for him, so you know he’s onto some genius game or something of the sort. The games he made were usually pretty cool, and you liked to play them every once in a while. Though sometimes they could get pretty weird or just outright stupid.

You sit next to him and he looks away from his computer screen at you just to make sure you’re not someone he doesn’t know. sometimes his peripheral vision would fail him and wouldn’t let him tell who was there. He’s still got his lisp as he talks to you, his ‘S’ sounding more like a ‘TH’. “Sup KK, why weren’t you at school yesterday and the day before?”

“I got sick somehow, which is a fucking miracle considering how much of a clean freak Kankri is around the house. Nobody at my place gets sick.”

“Maybe you picked it up from someone at school.” he says, and gets back to his coding. You notice he didn’t style his hair today, so it’s just a big blonde puff with muck at the roots. He must have been up all night again.

“Maybe. But it’s gone now. What’re you working on?”

“Fixing a game for AA, and by fixing, I mean making a mod for it. She’s gonna love it.”

“Will corpses rain from the sky every five seconds?”

“No I already did that. This one gives you a ghost companion, it doesn’t really do anything, but it hurts you if you touch it.”

Okay that was a joke but it seems that Sollux /has/ made corpses rain from the sky in one of Aradia’s games...Cool, and weird, but cool.

The rest of the bus ride is fairly silent as you let Sollux work on his coding in peace, but other kids decided to bug the shit out of him with endless questions as to what he was doing and why he was typing gibberish onto a screen.

That luckily all ended the minute they got to school. Some kids groaned but most of them went quiet as they were brought out of the bus in a not-so-organized fashion.

Their school served breakfast and they always had chocolate chip muffins there, and everyone loved chocolate chip muffins so some kids pushed and shoved their ways to the cafeteria, you make your way to your first period class so you can read silently to yourself. You were never really one for large crowds and prefer to be alone unless you’re with your friends.

Your classes go on as usual, expect for people asking where you were the past couple days, and you get tired of explaining how you were sick for millions of times. Then lunch time came around.

You sit at your usual table with your friends and pull your lunch out of your backpack. It’s just a simple sandwich and some juice, a little cookie that your dad put in for you.

You bite into the cookie first, being the rebel that you are, and loving your sweets to death.

Slowly your other friends start arriving, some coming from class, other the lunch line. Either way they get to the table, and all talk amongst themselves as you keep thinking about the dream you had.

At least it wasn’t a void, you guess.

You’re snapped out of your daze when someone asks you a question.

“Hey Karkat! How’s that ghost of yours going?” it’s John, what a little pest.

“Just dandy.” you reply, “Hey maybe I can get it to possess your body and I won’t have to deal with you anymore.” you say with a staged smile.

“Actually, a ghost can only possess a body if someone has giv-”

You cut Aradia off, “Aradia, I get it, you ‘possessed a girl’s body because you were dead and now you’re like half dead because you have a living body’. I get it. Just let me mess around with John for once, that’s all I ask.”

“KK that was rude.” Sollux comments.

“Your face is rude!” and then you get back to your sandwich in silence, hoping for the school day to just be over already. Unfortunately you still had gym, english, and science to deal with.

Lunch ends and you have to deal with Equius and Nepeta in gym class.

Equius’ gym locker is right next to yours and it’s really awkward changing next to him considering how much bigger he is than you. He could probably squish you with his pinky finger.

Today was a football day, and you didn’t really move much unless the ball came towards you, then you grabbed it and threw it to the closest person that was on your team. Luckily you were a fairly good throw so even if they were really far away it would get to them without much fail.

Equius spent most of his time making sure Nepeta didn’t get hurt or something like that. He has a lot of potential to be really good at these games but instead of playing he protects that little cat girl. she wears a headband with cat ears on it every day and it’s really weird.

Either way, gym is over, english goes by and today you learn your brother is learning as a student teacher with your english teacher, and science is a breeze.

You get home,flop on your bed, do your homework, and wait for the cold to wash over you again.


	4. Chapter 4

The cold doesn’t come back today. Or the next one for that matter, and before you know it, it’s one in the afternoon and Aradia’s knocking on the door.

You walk out of your room and walk to the door before you find your brother Kankri has beaten you to it, and is giving her a lecture on planned visits.

“And furthermore, you need to know that we couldn’t have been home! You can’t just come willy nilly without any planning as to when you’re coming over! Next time-”

You cut him off. “I invited her over, don’t worry Kankri.” what an uptight asshole. “Sorry I forgot to tell you.” you’re really not.

You bring Aradia up into your room, and she freezes the minute she walks through the doorway. “There’s a force in here.” she says.

“Yeah no shit, I’ve had to deal with it for the past couple days, can you help me identify whatever it is and help me talk to it? First day I was sick it talked to me through actions and then a pen and paper for a brief moment.”

You know you can trust Aradia with these sort of paranormal things. What with believing she’s dead, she does research as to what’s going on with the dead, and how to contact them so she can help other people with her knowledge. Though strange thing is over half of that knowledge came the minute she started believing she was dead after an incident with Sollux and some sort of bomb Vriska made.

You think it’s probably something wrong with her head, but nobody’s bothered to do anything about it and it’s not really that much of an impact on anyone’s life. Aside from she’s become a major downer which you don’t think is too healthy for her mental status. But she seems to be...Mostly fine.

She starts taking things out of her bag before you can get another word in with her. A Ouija board...Incense, many many many candles, a chunk of silver? You give a strange look and she notices, explaining that most of these things are for if something bad happens, usually most of these things wouldn’t be needed. In a good case. When she’s done pulling things out, she asks why you believe you have a ghost.

“Well there’s been something really really cold touching me every now and then, and while I was sick it pushed me down onto the bed when I tried to get up unless I gave it a reason it deemed good enough for me to get up.” much like what Dave would do when he was alive.

“Well you have some sort of force living in your bedroom, I know that much for sure, I can feel it.”

“Yeah no shit, I could feel it every time it pushed me back onto the bed.” you growl a little.

“Can you please explain what it felt like when it touched you?”

“Well when the contact was made, it was freezing cold, like it really hurt it was so cold. Then when it let go, it burned white hot, like someone had thrown that section of my body into a pit of lava. And as you can see, I’m perfectly fine.”

She was lighting incense as you spoke, though she still picked up everything you said. “Okay so we’re dealing with a spirit, the deceased. That narrows it down...You don’t think it could be Dave, do you? I don’t think a stranger would wish to keep you in bed while you’re sick.”

You think really hard about it. Maybe a little too hard. Finally your answer, “No, I don’t think it was Dave, he would have told me. He loved me as much as I love him, he would tell me if he was here.”

“Alright, I hope you’re absolutely sure about this…Does your room have a dimmer switch? Or is it just the main light and then a lamp?”

“Lamp.” you say, and turn on your lamp, turning off the main light. She proceeds to light various candles and place them around your room. This is all very very creepy. She asks you to sit down on the ground, and you do. She places a candle a couple inches behind you and sits in front of you, placing a candle behind herself.

“We’re going to try something very very simple just to make sure neither of us are going crazy.” she smiles, “I could just be feeling weird things because you’re causing a placebo with all this.” Aradia grabs your hands and hangs them in the middle of the space between you two. “Listen very very carefully. You should hear something that resembles wind, or a voice.

“To the ghost inhabiting Karkat’s bedroom at this moment, this is Aradia Megido. If you are here, please tell us.”

You expect to hear a whisper, but instead the candles go out, and you get the chills. It’s only after the candles go out that you hear the whisper. This was all very creepy and you didn’t like it too much. Aradia rubs her thumbs on your hands comfortingly.

“He says hi.” she says simply, and giggles. “Or, more specifically, ‘sup’.” Aradia seemed really happy doing these sorts of paranormal things with ghosts and such.

“Good to know.” you sigh, this was getting nowhere, but you have to be patient here. Might anger the guy. She lets go of your hands.

“Now that we’re sure he’s here, let’s give him something easier to communicate with shall we?” she says, and pulls a couple more things out of her bag. “I’m glad I know how to hypnotize myself otherwise this wouldn’t work.”

“Whoa whoa whoa wait a second here what’s with the hypnotization?” you’re quite baffled by what she just said, but you go along with it, wanting to know what’s going on.

“I’m going to allow the spirit to temporarily inhabit my body. I already know he’s of the sun.” she points to the Ouija board, “He’s a good spirit, he means well. I didn’t feel anything bad or dark, so we’re going to try this.

She pulls out a pen and paper, and explains that it might not be able to talk even through her body. You sigh, and let her do her thing.

You were more paying attention to how there was a shadow suddenly being made by the lamp that wasn’t there before before you realize Aradia’s hypnotized and shaking.

You’re genuinely worried, and the second you try to do something about it, she stops, and hugs you.

“Karkat I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry for doing what I did I didn’t mean it I want to be alive again I want to touch you without hurting you.”

Her- or, his voice, sounds strained. As if they had lost their voice and were trying to talk even when they weren’t supposed to because of the doctor’s orders. You’re really confused.

“Okay, hold on there buddy, I still need to know who you are. If you’ve left hints around, I haven’t seen them.”

They’re basically crying when they pull away, and you can’t tell if it’s with happiness or sadness, possibly both. With a hint of regret.

They write on the paper instead of talking. It sounded like it hurt to talk. There’s no punctuation or capitalization, and the handwriting is shaky and messy.

‘its me dave.’ he at least had enough courtesy to put periods in. ‘im sorry if i hurt you by touching you i just miss you so much. i regret doing what i did so much. i want you back in my arms.’

And now you’re crying too...Until he adds a ‘why did you have to pick a medium who has boobs’, then you’re giggling a little in your tears. You reach over and give him...her...whatever, a big hug. They hug you back.

He tries to speak again so that the hug can last, “I’m the one causing your nightmares, Karkat.”

“What?”

“I’m the one with the red eyes. The boy with the red eyes that you’re so afraid of. I’m him.”

“But you don’t have red eyes. I bet they’re brown or something.”

“No, Karkat, they’re red. There’s a reason I never showed anybody. Everyone thought I was a freak. So I hid.”

“Dave…” that’s all you can say. He’d never lie to you. Why was he causing you nightmares? Doesn’t he know that they hurt? You have so many questions to ask him.

He pulls away from you and looks you in the eyes, and you try to imagine his short, blonde hair and his red eyes hiding behind those shades but you can’t. You just can’t.

“I have to go, I’m sorry. It was nice to be able to talk to you again. But I unfortunately have to give the body back to Aradia. I love you. I always will.” he kisses you, but there’s lipstick instead of soft, baby-like skin. And he shakes, and is gone. You feel like you’re about to break down.

“So how did it go? Do you know who it is?” Aradia wipes the wetness she feels on her cheek, it’s black with mascara. “Why are we crying?”

“It was Dave…” you try to fight back more tears that are urging to come, “It was Dave and he’s been the culprit of my nightmares.” and there it goes. Aradia holds you, trying to comfort you.

“I just want to see him one more time. I want to hold him and for him to hold me. I want to hear his voice again and hear his wonderful laugh.” you’re torn. Your sentences are chopped up because of sobs. “I want to hear his jokes and his commentary on my movies. I want to kiss him and hug him and tell him it’s alright.”

Aradia continually rubs your back soothingly, trying to calm you down as you let your feelings out to her. “It’s okay, I know, I know don’t worry.” she says in as soft and as caring a voice as she can manage. Her strawberry blonde hair swaying as she rocks slightly while speaking.

“I want him to be alive.” you say finally before your brother storms into your room.

“Excuse me, miss Megido, is there a problem here?” he seems angry that you’re crying. “What did you do to Karkat to make him cry?”

“We were talking with his deceased boyfriend in the other world...Well he’s in this world because he wants to care for Karkat but he’s not living I can tell you that much.”

Kankri seems to be having none of it. “Miss Megido, I would like to respectfully ask that you pack your things and go home, I think Karkat’s had enough. It looks like he’s been triggered by something.”

“Get the fuck out of my room, asshole!” you say, and look for something to throw at your brother before Aradia has everything packed up.

“I finished my business here anyway. Have a good day you two.” she says, and heads downstairs to the door.

After about an hour you’ve calmed down and your father calls you down for dinner.

After dinner you go to sleep.

For once in your life your mind is completely blank from exhaustion.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm an awesome person aren't I?


	5. Chapter 5

You’re spared of another nightmare tonight, you dream about something that you don’t remember all too well. Something about Pans? And sexuality? If it’s got anything to do with pansexuals and the term taken literally then that’s just fucked up. That’s just weird.

Sunday goes as any other weekend would go; you get out of bed, brush your teeth, and get on the computer and talk with your friends whilst multitasking and playing video games while you talk. You’re currently in a skype call with your friend Sollux. He finished the mod for Aradia and decided to play some Portal with you.

He made a bit of a dick move, honestly. He invited his girlfriend Nepeta over just let ignore her and play video games. You can see her in the background of Sollux’s camera.

Her red hair wasn’t tangled, it was just a little messy from not brushing it every day. It’s wavy with little curls at the ends. her face is very childlike and innocent, like a little kitten, almost. Her cat ears headband was put away somewhere and she had a blue hat on.

She was pouncing around until she called out to Sollux with a stupid cat pun. “Pawllux! I caught a bee! It flew in from the window.”

Sollux’s attention is instantly turned towards Nepeta, “Make sure it’s not dead, let it go back out the window to the apiary please.”

“It doesn’t look like one of your bees though.” she says, and he gets up and walks over to her, and she lets her hands go.

“That’s because it’s a hornet, Nepeta.” he says, and you hear him stomp of it when she scurries away from it. Now back to the game.

Sollux’s family was a family of beekeepers. Except Sollux’s big brother, Mituna, wasn’t allowed to go near the apiary because of some...issues with his head. He has down syndrome or some shit which adds up to him being a special little shit who needs caring pretty much 24/7. You’re lucky he’s not your brother in all honesty. The guy wears a helmet all the time.

You and Sollux finish up the game pretty quickly, and sollux has to go and care for Nepeta because she’d caught another bug and it stung her. Poor girl.

Oh well, you have other things to deal with. Like trying to help Dave figure out how not to give you nightmares and to actually talk to you.

He’s not good at the whole ‘being a ghost’ thing yet. Ghosts were meant to be bad, although some have good intentions, they can’t switch the fact that they’re dead and are meant to be scary. That’s why they couldn’t pass. It’s quite the problem when you’re the ghost of someone who loved. And died loving. And you want to be with your love. Love love love...Dave was probably sick of love.

You start with a homemade Ouija board, obviously it’s not as good as the others, but it’ll do.

I L O V E Y O U

“I love you too.” though you wish you could hear his voice.

You can’t read smoke, so scrying is out of the question here.

Dave can barely pick up a piece of paper let alone a pen.

You’re out of ideas.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see a small square box that Aradia probably left behind. It looks like it’s meant for recording audio, and it was great quality too. You could probably leave it on as you sleep. Listen to what he’s saying as you dream.

Good idea, even if it’s not in real time.

It’s really late anyway, so you decide to give it a shot. You could even probably leave it on while you’re at school if there was enough space for it. You check the space left in the memory. Yeah there should totally be enough space in here!

You turn it on, go to sleep, and are washed over by freezing temperatures under your blanket. It seems to be hugging you. Now that you know who it is. It brings comfort. Loving.

There’s warmth in your dream. No, more than warmth. Fire. It burns. You expect to see someone but you don’t. It’s just endless rows of fire, growing up red walls to a white ceiling.

There’s nobody there.

You spend about an hour in here before you wake up.

\--

You wake up.

That wasn’t very pleasant, but it’s over now, so you start to get ready for school. Normal shower. Normal clothing. Everything’s...Normal! Except when you grab you back and leave your room you say a quiet “See you after school, Dave.” to hopefully hear a response over the tape.

You get to your bus stop late. Again. But the bus is always late anyway. so it’s fine.

You hop on and sit next to- well it looks like your seat’s been taken by a tiny little cat girl. Not having time to ask for an explanation you decide to sit next to Nepeta’s friend Equius seeing as he was in the seat behind Sollux and Nepeta and he never seemed to hurt anybody anyway so it’s fine. It’s alright. It wasn’t like he was this giant muscled guy with hyperhidrosis or anything right? Right. Okay he totally was and you totally hated it so you want to be with him at all times. Even if it does mean sitting next to buff sweaty guys who are...surprisingly not hairy. Wow. His skin’s baby smooth. Okay, no, get your mind off that, just...Just look out the window. Yeah.

Okay, awkward thoughts aside, you wondered what kind of things Dave said while you slept? It must have been nice, or extremely dorky. He tries to act cool but he really isn’t and he knows that. Always striving for attention that silly little Dave.

And that leads you to another thing...What if that’s why he’s been bugging you this whole time: Giving you nightmares and all those chills? He’s just begging for attention because he’s lonely and pained without it. He’s admitted that to you before. You got sad, and maybe a little angry too. Dave destined himself for an eternity of loneliness. Not being able to touch someone without hurting them unless speaking through a medium. And even then it’s not the same thing.

Dave did this to himself. He was the one who killed himself and then says he wasn’t finished, that he needed to talk to you and hold you and get attention from you. He was the one who brought all this upon himself.

Now you’re in a bad mood of mixed emotions and you’re headed to first period. Joy.

You make it to lunch without killing anybody for being completely and utterly stupid and you don’t know if you should be proud or regret that fact. These people are fucking idiots.

It’s lunch time, you got your lunch in your backpack, everything’s okay...Except cat girl is in your seat again. Alright, just talk to Sollux about it.

“Sollux, why the fuck is Nepeta in my seat?”

“Well kk, nobody said there were assigned seats, first of all. Second of all She’s my girlfriend so how about you try and make some friends...Try Eridan, he’s lonely.”

“Yes because everybody wants to sit next to hipster mcblonde streak.” not that poliosis was something that he could control. “Whatever. Fuck you, Captor.”

“Love you too kk.”

You make your way to the bare end of a table that Eridan sits at and try to spark a conversation with the guy. “So...Why’re you sitting alone?” try to sound nice, yeah.

His voice has this thick, royal, snobbish accent. How the fuck is this guy in public school again? “Well...You know Fef, right? She used to sit with me all the time. Of course you know her she’s quite popular. Anyway, we were friends, an’ then I asked her out, an’ she said she didn’t even wanna be friends anymore!? Fuckin’ bullshit.”

You...Don’t know how to help him. But being the friendly person you are, you give him a friendly pat on the shoulder. “Don’t worry man, it’ll be alright.” this was really awkward.

“No you don’t get it. Even Vris hates me, and not in the acting out a rivalry kind of hate she truly fuckin’ hates me.” he sighed, “What was your name? Kar...Kar….”

“Karkat.” this guy’s been in your classes since fourth grade, you would think he knew your name.

“Eh I’m callin’ you Kar.” he liked using nicknames, you have three now. Kk, Karkitty, now simply Kar. Vroom vroom mothafuckas Kar’s coming around. Not the worst thing you’ve been called. “So, why are you sittin’ over here?”

“Sollux had Nepeta take my spot because I apparently ‘need more friends’ which is utter bullshit. I was the best friend that kid ever had!” you say. Nah, you’re actually complete and utter shit.

“Well, looks like we’ve both lost a friend. You probably already know who I am. Eridan Ampora, son of Julius Ampora, only the best marine out there.”

“I have never heard of him, sorry. I’m not really up to date on the military or whatever the fuck.” wow this kid was full of himself. But he was lonely, like you were now, I mean it’s not like his boyfriend died. Or like what happened with Sollux when he was with Aradia, she’d gotten cotard’s syndrome. Woke up in the hospital, believed she was dead.

But you know what it’s like to lose someone you love so you talk to this guy through lunch as you eat your sandwich. Eventually the bell rings and you’re happy to leave the guy because he’s really moronic and you can’t stand him.

The rest of your classes go as normal, except you got an F on your science homework which was a bummer. Who needs to know what a half life is anyway? Jeez.

The bus ride home is quite boring, Sollux went to Nepeta’s house by walking home with her, so you’re left with Mr.Sweat sitting behind you. He doesn’t really talk to you much...You don’t know why that is. Probably because he’s got a thing with not being associated with ‘the poor’ which apparently you are. You’re dad’s living on minimum wage and your brother’s working his own job to try to help but like, you’re getting by fine.

It’s your stop and you get off the bus, first walking home, then sprinting because you want to listen to the things Dave said to you in your sleep! He can talk to you! This is awesome!

You run inside, say hello to your brother, then sprint upstairs and grab the audio recorder.

It looks like your brother must’ve turned it off while you were gone. God damn him.

Then you take a closer look at the recording.

Forty five seconds.

It’s the only recording in the entire tape so it couldn’t have been Aradia. You decide to play it.

You can barely make out what that sound is you’re hearing. You hear the shuffling of your bedsheets, and then some strange sound. You play it over and over and over again because you know he’s saying something you just don’t know what it is.

Finally you figure it out. “Please don’t record me, I love you.” is what he says before it clicks off. You assume his voice is strange because he’s a ghost. It’s totally normal for that to be the case.

Well you keep the tape on there for Aradia to go over if she needs to when you return the recorder. For now you have homework to do!

You hear a crash downstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5! Also known as: Every humanstuck headcanon I have


	6. Chapter 6

The crash is surprisingly not Dave begging for your attention, but rather your dad -being the clumsy oaf he is- has dropped a large vase full of flowers after tripping on the carpet. He had a couple bits of glass sticking in his skin, but it wasn’t bad enough to go to the hospital luckily. Everyone was safe, everything was okay. Don’t worry.

You help clean up while Kankri helps your dad get the glass off himself. You can’t help but feel a little sick when you see the tiniest bit of blood dripping.

You’ve become a little hemophobic since the incident with Dave. Four years ago. That’s four years you’re still saying you’re taken. New friends ask where he is you always say he’s out of town with family, trying to hold back the tears.

And you’ve made yourself sad, Dave could probably tell, because you feel a coldness on your shoulder as you pick up the glass. But it gets colder...And colder...You want to say stop but your family will think you’ve gone insane! Saying stop to mid air? For doing what? Helping you live?

You finish up cleaning the mess and then go back to your room. The cold is still on your shoulder. It’s spreading all throughout your body. It hurts. It really really hurts.

Your brother knocks on your door and it almost instantly leaves your body, being replaced by that searing heat you know all too well. “What is it?”

“Be careful around the dining room for the next hour, you weren’t very thorough with your cleaning and I’m going to sweep up all the tiny bits of glass you left behind. You know I could’ve cut my feet had I not noticed the strange shine on the floor that looked particularly like small bits of glass that you so carelessly-”

You cut him off, “I get it, go away.” Lucky for you, he promptly fucks off, and you’re left alone to do your fucking homework. Wonderful. Math.

 

\--

 

Three hours and you’ve done your homework, eaten dinner, and were now reading a book for school. You have to admit it is actually pretty cool, even if it is quite an easy book.

‘I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings’ is what you’re reading, you got to pick books off a list to read and then do reports on every nine weeks. For extra credit you can do more. But you’re a lazy shit and don’t really need it. It was really just remedial reading because last year you didn’t want to do anything. You never want to do anything. But last year you really didn’t wanna do anything.

You fall asleep with the book on your face, and Dave’s not altering your dreams tonight, which is really odd. There’s something about the altered dreams that give you a comforted feeling, even though most of the time they end up being nightmares. Now that you know it’s Dave, they’re even more comforting.

But they’re not there tonight, and waking up, you can’t help but feel a little worried. It’s Dave, your dead boyfriend we’re talking about here. It’s strange not having anything resembling a nightmare. Not even death in your dream tonight.

Rather, you dream you’re in an open field, with tall grass and flowers, and thunder clouds rolling in, rain coming with them. You love the rain. You’ll love it until the day you die. It’s a wonderful white noise that you can’t resist. And you’re laying there, getting soaked and laying in the tall grass, watching as the rain falls down upon you. Dave’s nowhere to be seen, you’re all alone.

It was heavenly.

Too bad it was interrupted by the beeping of your alarm clock. You were really enjoying that.

That dream was extremely vivid, it was almost scary. Maybe Dave was doing that? Maybe. Hopefully. He’s been doing almost nothing but hurting you lately.

You hop out of bed and hear a strange squeak when you put your foot down on the floor. A misplaced toy. You put it away and get ready for school.

“Hey Dave…I’m off to school again...I love you.” the cold engulfs your body, and you welcome it. You know it’s him. You’re safe. You always were when in his touch.

And it gets colder again. Colder than last time. It spreads faster. It’s so cold it feels like it’s burning you from being so cold. If that even was a thing.

It leaves, but there’s residual cold in your spine and head, the rest of your body is white hot, and it takes everything you have not to scream right there. Ghosts fucking sucked.

But Dave was okay. Dave was Dave. You couldn’t get mad at Dave. He was your boyfriend for pete’s sake! He may be dead but he’s still your boyfriend!

With the cold in your head and spine, you go out to the bus, and when you get on, there’s a whisper in your head, and an unbearable need to punch something, someone. That stupid cat girl that’s been sitting by Sollux. The stupid fucking autistic cat girl that’s had a crush on you since the third grade that suddenly decides to take your best fucking friend as her plan B. You want to punch the shit out of her.

But you don’t, you fight back the urge, because Equius would probably tap you with his pinky finger and kill you. Okay that’s an exaggeration but he would hurt anyone who hurt his precious Nepeta, so you decide to go sit in the middle, where nobody likes to sit because it’s no fun. You get your own seat, and you’re left to your thoughts. Still pretty horrible, but better than being beaten to death.

The whispers continue through the entire bus ride until you’re at school and your attention is drawn to getting off the bus and getting to class before you end up hurting someone or yourself. These whispers are driving you insane. You only get colder when you enter the classroom. You should’ve brought a Jacket.

Your teachers in every single period seem more annoying than usual, you’re not usually this annoyed with people unless you were in a really bad mood. And your homicidal thoughts weren’t this literal and meaningful at all ever. They were usually just empty threats that you never say out loud because that would get you in trouble, you already get enough shit from your teachers about your potty mouth.

Lunch was absolute torture. Not only do you have everyone screaming and shouting, but you’re stuck with mister high and mighty again. The longer the day goes on the worse your headache gets. The whispers are getting louder and louder and you need to punch something **_now_**.

You slam your hands on the table and screech, “SHUT UP!” everyone turns to look at you, “SHUT THE MOTHERFUCK UP I CAN’T HANDLE ALL THIS MOTHERFUCKING NOISE!” you voice sounds...Altered. And your vocabulary is strange as well. You never use motherfuck at all ever. It’s just not one of those words you use. But you used it. And you have no idea why.

Everyone’s staring at you in complete shock, and your face goes red. You sprint to the bathroom and lock yourself in one of the stalls until the bell rings. Oh you hope you’re not in too much trouble for what you did. Maybe a call home? Probably a suspension. Definitely a suspension.

The bell is three minutes away from ringing and you have the dean asking you to come out of the bathroom to go into his office. Which you do. And you two have a talk after waiting in front of his office for fifteen minutes to calm down. It felt like forever.

“Mr.Vantas, you are aware that disruption of any kind during any activity is prohibited in this school, correct?”

“Yes sir.” your head hurts.

“And that foul language like what you used in the cafeteria is not to be used at school, yes?”

“Yes sir.” your head is pounding.

“So can you please tell me why you decided to pull that stunt in the cafeteria today?” his voice is starting to sound washed out.

“What?” your head feels like it might explode.

“Why did you pull that stunt in the cafeteria today?” you can just barely make it out.

“I’ve got a horrible headache, I’ve been feeling off lately. I think I’m sick.” lies.

“You do know there’s no excuse for your behaviour, yes?” all you make out is ‘yes’ so you respond with what you hope is the right answer.

“Yes sir.” yes you got it right.

“I’m going to file a three day suspension, I’m calling your father, he and I are going to have a talk, and you’re being sent home.” and luckily he then shoo’s you off into the waiting area, where you’ll be...Relatively alone. Aside from a couple other kids.

They call for you to be sent home, and you grab your stuff, and head out to your dad’s car. He’s pretty used to you getting in trouble, but that doesn’t stop him from being disappointed in you.

“Son, I know school’s rough, and loud noises bother you sometimes, but you can’t act up like that. We’ve talked about this before.” his voice is caring, not angry. Like Dave’s always was. No you can’t be thinking about Dave right now you’re talking with your father.

“Yeah, I know, but my head was really hurting today.” you explain, it feels like it’s going to explode any minute now.

“I’m changing the password to your steam account for until the suspension is over. You can still play console games and games you don’t have through steam.” basically all your games were from steam though. You guess it’s fair game.

“Alright.” you reply, and soon, you’re home, and you have a very tough time getting upstairs without collapsing because of how horrible this pain is.

You get into your room and flop onto your bed, the headache is gone, and that eternal coldness in your head and spine is gone to be temporarily replaced with the heat. It feels nice. You like it.

You don’t really have enough energy to get up and get the things to talk to Dave right now, so you just lay on your bed staring at the ceiling until finally you take a nap. Naps were nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this all literally today I hope y'all are happy


	7. Chapter 7

You don’t nap long enough to have a dream, but long enough to feel refreshed. Your headache is gone, and you hear something fall to the ground somewhere in your room. A book from your shelf, maybe. Dave wants attention.

You get up, and open a text document on your computer. You’re going to see if he can type everything out instead of using the Ouija board.

A couple minutes pass by, another book falls. “Dave, you can just type here, you know.”

Soon, there’s slow tapping at the keys.

 **SUP KAR**.

That’s...Odd, to say the least. He never calls you Kar.

 **how’s a motherfucker doing today**?

He...Never used that word either. You close the document. You’re getting scared. “I’m sorry; we can’t talk.” this was just too out of character. Even though you know you shouldn’t keep black and white lines for personalities in people. The afterlife might’ve done things to him. That must be it, yeah. You hope.

You briskly do your homework before remembering you’re suspended. Hah! You have three extra days to do that shit! No worries!

No games though, which is very very unfortunate, might as well read a book, or watch a movie. Those were fun things to do.

You pull out one of your favourite romantic comedies, and pop it into the DVD player on your TV. You lay down excitedly in front of your TV as you wait for all the previews to end and for it to finally start.

5 hours spent watching movies and re-reading one of your favourite books. Ah these things were amazing. You loved them too much.

One of the books you read wasn’t so much a comedy, but it did have romance and conflict. Starving artist photographer in high school fall head over heels for some kid in the student government. My, is he charming. The girl finds a strange cupid doll that comes to life to help her educationally, artistically, or romantically. Naturally, loving the boy so much, she chose romantically, but there was a catch. The boy became utterly obsessed with her, to the point of insanity.

How you loved that one. The ridiculousness of how obsessed the boy gets is pretty funny too. It was just absolutely wonderful.

But then you look at the clock. You really should be getting to sleep. One more movie couldn’t hurt??

Your entire bookshelf falls down.

Okay, you’re cleaning the mess up before anybody notices, then going to bed. Though you have trouble. The whispers are back and everything keeps falling down, down, down.

It’s cold with the blanket on, and hot without, and it’s not Dave this time. Is there someone else? There’s only ever been Dave. And he loves you.

You love him.

You finally get to sleep and in your dream you’re in a very dark room. Dark purple. There’s thunder, but not the comforting kind. Lightning flashes and there’s screams and yelling.

You see the eyes. Those red eyes.

But they’re not red. You don’t even know what colour they are, they’re so dim, and the pupils are so large. The lids are halfway down as if whoever they belong to is sleepy. Or high. You don’t understand what’s going on, where’s Dave? What’s he doing?

You try to vocalize yourself. And you can’t. Nothing comes out.

The pounding thunder gets louder and cracks more and more and soon you’re actually seeing where the lightning is striking. You cover your ears and it just gets louder. Nothing is going to help you.

You need to wake up, wake up and everything’s going to be okay. You drop to the ground and bang your head and it’s basically bloodied now from how hard you’re hitting.

There’s no escape.

Where the fuck is he?

Your heart is racing, racing, racing. And a form is forming in the distant shadows. The form of a young boy. Could be no older than nine or ten years old. What’s going on? Who is he?

“You thought you got rid of me didn’t you Karbro?” oh shit. “Thought that I could be motherfuckin’ fixed of my problems with fuckin’ therapy or some shit.” his voice is soft. Small. “You snitch. Telling the police on me like that.” he starts to laugh. “I went through withdrawal. Motherfucking homicidal thoughts swirling in my brain like no tomorrow.”

“I-” he cuts you off.

“DON’T YOU MOTHERFUCKING TALK WHILE I’M SPEAKING TO YOU!” and he’s loud, and it hurts your ears.

“They let me out. I was home free. Not saying a word as to what I was thinkin’. Went out and murdered. Killed. Slaughtered. Was great. Felt...Nice….Felt real nice.”

You’re just about to cry. You knew who this was. This wasn’t Dave. This wasn’t Dave at all. You are crying. This...Maniac this...Psychopath!

“Coulda went and killed a town and a half with how much I had built up inside me. Then I took to much. Was motherfucking dying for four days not knowing what the shit was going on with this bitch.” He overdosed. An overdose led to the death of Gamzee Makara.

“Gamzee you-”

“WHAT DID I MOTHERFUCKING TELL YOU.

You’re going to pay for what you did. You’re going to motherfucking pay.” worse than what Aradia did to Vriska, you presume. Much worse. “You’re gonna pay.”

\--

You jerk up. Nightmare. Just a nightmare. Just a nightmare. Just a…

It’s raining outside, and you wipe the wet off your face. It’s a surprise your dad or your brother doesn’t check up on you while you sleep. Maybe you don’t yell in your sleep? That’s strange.

“D...Dave, are you still here?” you’re scared, to be quite honest.


	8. Chapter 8

You get up out of bed and go check your brother, and your dad, just to make sure they’re okay.

Knocking on your brother’s door, there’s no response. No snoring, groaning, or ‘what is it’. So you just walk in, and you find blood.

His chest has been ripped open, his fingers bloodied. He...Did that to himself. At least, that’s what it looks like. His rib cage is exposed for all to see, some of the ribs broken and on his bed. You can see his lungs expanding and contracting, his heart beating, and you feel like you’re going to vomit. This means he’s still alive somehow. Even if it’s just barely.

You hear a scream a couple rooms over, it’s your dad’s.

You rush over to his room, and start shaking as you look over the room. A shadow is standing in the corner, with two purple lights by the top. It’s shaped like a small child.

Meanwhile your dad’s leg is in the opposite corner of the shadow, and he’s trying to crawl towards the doorway. Can he even see you? You don’t know. And as you watch the blood spurt out of his knee, where the leg used to be, you’re about to pass out. You run down to the basement, to try to get as far away from this as possible.

You can feel that cold, that you found so comforting, rushing through your body, it’s freezing. It’s growing hard to breath. And you run. You run. You run. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.

In. Out. In. Out. You breathe. Breathe. BREATHE.

The hallway to the stairs that lead to the basement seems endless, you’re forever running. And you trip over seemingly nothing.

You lose the ability to breathe as this painful feeling washes over you. As if someone’s breaking your every bone. And you have no way of relieving yourself of this pain.

Whispers, all around you.

The messiahs they have found you.

One of us, you had to kill.

Your blood, we will swill.

“Dave…” you say. He had to be somewhere, Aradia said it was Dave. He could help you. Even if he was a ghost! He could help you! Right?

He’s nowhere to be found. It’s just you, the shadow, and the ever-stretching hallway.

You still can’t breathe unless you actually think, in...out...in...out...in out in out in out in in in in in in.

You can’t move.

Something tears at your back, and when you scream, nothing comes out.

“Goodbye, brother.” someone whispers into your ear. Blood spills out your mouth as you can feel the flesh of your back and the bones of your spine being exposed to the frigid cold air around you.

And then you’re dead.

You’re dead.

But you’re still breathing.


	9. Chapter 9

You’re still breathing. Your body isn’t moving. The world around you is swaying. And then it’s black.

When you wake up, everything around you is dark.

“...Dave?” you’re hesitant to call out, but you do. When you speak, you’re startled by the sudden flash of everything lighting up around you. Once the echo is gone, you can’t see anymore.

“Dave I’m sorry.” you’re still quite delusional, even after dying, you still think Dave’s somewhere out there.

“Dave’s not motherfucking here, idiot.” a child’s voice. A...Raspy, child’s voice. Very relaxed, however. It almost sounds like…

“Gamzee?” you ask, and you see him when you say his name. Still as small as when he died. “But how are you- I mean you died!”

“And so did you.” you can hear soft footsteps, lighting up the room ever-so-slightly. When he stops, and stomps, your body comes into view.

You’re going to be sick. Well, you would be sick if you had the ability to.

“But...But I’m breathing, see?” you take in a big huff of air, and let it out. You can’t be dead!

“Yeah, and so am I.” he punches you in the gut, making all the wind leave you. “You’re alive in the motherfucking ghost world.”

“So...Other ghosts can hurt me…But people can’t.”

“Ding ding ding.” he said flatly, unamused by your slowness.

“So, then where’s Dave?” you’re confused. Very confused.

“Dual suicide, bro. He didn’t want to live at all. He killed himself again when he found out everyone had a second life. He was tired of life, bro.”

“But...But he was in my room. He was talking to me!”

“That was motherfucking me.”

“But he was kind! Loving! Even if everything he did hurt!”

“LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT” he grabs you by the collar of your shirt, “I WAS LEADING YOU TO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY. YOU WERE MOTHERFUCKING CRAZY FOR THAT BITCH SO I PLAYED HOUSE WITH YOU!”

He lied to you. Dave was gone forever. And the ghost in your room was Gamzee all along.

You’re still in denial. “You could NEVER pretend to be Dave.”

Gamzee cleared his throat, “‘Sup, Karkat, I got a new rap that I think you’re going to love.”

“Yeah but everybody thinks he says tha-”

Gamzee’s hand meets your face. Ow, that really hurt. “He’s gone. He’s dead. Twice. If you don’t let that go through your meaningless little brain I’m going to kill you for a second time.

You sigh, and go to your room and cry.

If you’re going to be a ghost. That’s fine. Dave was a ghost.

But being a ghost without Dave? Not happening.

You didn’t throw away those razors from so long ago, they’re still in your drawer from four years ago. That first month after Dave died. You couldn’t have told your friends about your emotions, you were a leader!

And you won’t now.

And so you let the cold metal meet with your skin.

And blood just as bright as Dave’s eyes start pouring out of your skin, your flesh. It seeps out and you fall dizzy.

You’re dead.

Wherever you go, Dave will be too.

If someone were to see your other body, they’d see a smile.

You two can be happy again.

Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end ya motherfuckers


End file.
